If you've been wondering how to properly say goodbye to someone you care about but will not see for a long time, if ever again, I've come up with a step-by-step guide that might help. This happens when either you or they are moving to a different city, state, country, or even continent. After moving away several times and leaving numerous amazing people, people who I'd much rather keep in my life, but can't 'cause that's how my life works, I've developed the following strategies that make said move easier (though never pain free). Warning: This guide may not work for you, as it has only been implemented by one person. Me.
Step 1: Prior to a month before your (or their) departure, don't think about it too much. Let it sit meekly in the back of your mind that the end is nearing, but do not let it start to taint your time with your friends and family. Go about life as usual, despite also needing to make flight / passport / visa / moving arrangements in your free time.
Step 2: When there's about a month left, think about who is important to you and make individual plans with them to do the things you usually do together. It might be one person, it might be 10, but make sure you make individual plans with every person that you even faintly enjoy being around and care about. For me, this helps to close doors and move on without feeling like something has been left unresolved. Also include the people who seek out spending time with you. You never know who you're important to and who wants to say goodbye.
Step 3: About a week prior to departure, only spend time with those closest to you. Don't waste time on the people you're not particularly fond of or the people who didn't treat you well (hopefully that doesn't sound cruel). Still, don't let your looming departure sadden your time with this closest group. Continue to carry on as usual, knowing in the back of your mind that the end is drawing near, but keeping things positive instead of sad. Don't let your final memories with your friends be full of sorrow. Make new, positive memories together that will stick with you for the rest of your life.
Step 4: When the time comes to say goodbye for the last time to someone, especially your closest ones, don't skimp, but don't go on too long. If you're a hugger, give the person a meaningful hug. Be honest. Tell them that you'll miss them. Tell them that you're sad to leave and that they really had an impact on you and that you hope to see them again in the future. Let it show, now, that it really is hard to leave. You've been holding it in for the past month, but now is the time to let them know that they really, truly will be missed and will always be missed. Try not to cry too much or make too much of a scene because it just gets awkward after a while. But, most importantly, make your goodbye honest and genuine towards each unique person. Now's not the time for false words, overly dramatic farewells, or holding back thoughts the person would probably like to hear.
Step 5: Leave. Don't drag it out forever. Say goodbye meaningfully to each person you need to say goodbye to, and leave. But, don't be afraid to look back and catch one last glimpse of that marvelous soul. It very well may be the last time you'll ever see them.
Step 6: When the time is right, let all of the sorrow and tears completely out. Embrace the sadness and let it momentarily engulf you. For each person, the right time is different. It might be an hour later, in the nighttime window of your thankfully dark plane. It might be twenty hours later, in the quiet of your darkened room. It might be a week later, in your car pulled off to the side of the road en route to your new home. At some point, let it happen.
Step 7: Carry your friends and family with you wherever you go, tucked safely into the little chambers of your heart. Keep them there and don't forget about them, no matter how little you talk to them. They're a part of you, just as you're a part of them.
Step 8: Go out and say hello to the new people around you. You never know which might become the ones you'll eventually have to say goodbye to.
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