Every time I see an unattended yet occupied baby stroller, I feel slightly disturbed and wonder how on earth a parent could trust all these random people milling about to leave their child alone while they idly browse the second hand racks. A stroller parked in the middle of a busy Monday morning sidewalk, with tiny hands and feet flailing about inside, and no parent anywhere in sight...it's something I've never witnessed before and something the movies use to create an atmosphere thick with suspense. I fight the urge to label this action as bad parenting because it has become apparent that the definition of good parenting depends on which country you were brought up in.
In elementary school, my mom and I followed the advice of the local news station, which faithfully and thoroughly and redundantly reported on every possibly-abducted child case, and made up a "code word" that I would request from strangers in the event that they tried to coax me into going with them. The word was, fittingly, "muffin". One afternoon, my mom couldn't pick me up from school and asked a friend to fill in. We had arranged this beforehand and she told me to use the "code word" and I, thrilled at the opportunity to use the "code word", waited anxiously at the designated corner until a white jeep pulled up in front of me. The passenger side's tinted window slowly rolled down to reveal a nice looking lady with sunglasses, curly hair and a baby seat in the back, but I was skeptical. "What's the code word?" I asked as sternly as my seven year old voice could handle. She pulled her sunglasses down to reveal her eyes and whispered "muffin", followed by a kind smile. Feeling a bit disappointed that she actually knew it and I didn't get to ask for the "code word" from anymore strangers, I opened the door and got in. I still didn't feel totally convinced, though. What if this stranger had somehow overheard the conversation with my mom? What if the person who was really supposed to pick me up was tied up and gagged in the back? What if this was the CIA? My rising panic didn't ease until I reached my front door and the nice lady with the sunglasses was driving off down the street, concluding the one and only occasion in which I put "muffin" to use.
As silly as this story seems to me now, it has a grim undertone and strategies and fears like this are becoming more and more dominant in American parenting, and those fears are by no means unfounded. When a parent feels the need to create a code word that may prevent their child from being kidnapped, some sort of societal innocence has been lost. And each time I pass by a baby sound asleep in a stroller without a parent nearby, I am at first startled out of habit, and then I am envious. Envious of a society that is still capable of one of the deepest forms of trust. Your government may be corrupt and your neighbor may steal your money and your spouse may be out on a date, but your children are safe.
2 comments:
We had a code word too but after all these deep years of sworn secrecy, I still won't reveal it to you!!!! Unfortunately I never got to use mine. I giggled at the image of the lady rolling down her window, lowering her sunglasses and whispering muffin....super tare!
I don't know if you've heard about the Jaycee case that's been all over the news here in the U.S., but 18 years ago an 11 year old girl was kidnapped and she has just recently been found living in a camp behind her captor's house. I think this development has really made parents go into overdrive with warning the kids about strangers (not that I blame them).
I go for a run in the mornings at the same time kids are walking to school and more than several of them look at me with extreme fear in their eyes. They cross the street to avoid me and then cross back over once I've passed. I feel so bad that these kids have to live with that kind of fear. And it makes me feel like I've done something wrong by simply going for a run.
Post a Comment