Things Change

Remember this. Remember the disappointment. Remember the hard work and the tears and the longing for home, none of which was softened by friendship or even acceptance. Remember the dull-minded greed that took all of your effort to keep at bay, followed by the emotionless and dry-eyed goodbyes. Remember the anger and the foul words you never thought you’d say, screamed to yourself in an empty room or muttered under your breath after another idiotic hello. Remember the look in your students’ eyes every single time you tried to teach them something heavier than yet another silly game. Remember all of the one sided conversations and the struggle to think of more questions and the pure lack of curiosity, interest or concern. Remember all the stupid photographs that you never consented to, all of the pointing, all of the heads turning, all of the god-damned hellos. Don’t forget this. Don’t regret your decision. You’re miserable here. Every day. Nearly every hour. Never regret this. You’re going home. You’re going to hug your mom and pet your dog. You’re going to play with your little brothers and go back to school and live a better life. You’re going to feel happy again. I know the good memories and the kind people will eventually push the nasty ones out, and you will probably regret this decision some day, but don’t. Please don’t. Everybody deserves happiness, even you. Everybody has the right to leave a situation that makes them feel awful. You’re moving on to something bigger and better and healthier, don’t let the venom of regret poison a second of it. It’s time to let it go. Remember this.